No Big Surprise …

In addition to working full time, I’m also working on a graduate degree. A lot of my “spare” time is spent reading, writing, doing something for school. Yuck. Last night I had a HUGE project due and I had been stuck at my computer all week. Viva Viagra tried to get me to come down to his apartment on Thursday night but I demurred. Last night, he tried again.

He used a different tactic though — taking me out for a drink. He works on old, expensive British sports cars and also tempted me with a ride in one. Fortunately I had showered earlier, so all I had to do was put on something decent and head downstairs. First, I sent an e-mail to Lauren … she is NOT a VV fan. I reassured her that I was on the rag, so how much trouble could I get into?

Yeah. Three hours later, I was trashed with a capital T. The ride in his little car was exhilarating/terrifying, and I was clapping my hands in glee at how fast we were going. When we arrived at our building, he walked me in, then gave me the choice of going up to my place (alone) or to his. Duh.

Next thing I knew, we were making out on his couch. (He is a good kisser.) Then, in the way that time flies when you’re drunk, we were both mostly naked. Then, there was his hard dick. So of course I blew him.

I had forgotten how perfect his dick is. About 8″ long, thick, smooth … yummy. And no problems of the past, he was hard and stayed hard. I could tell he was getting close and he asked me what I what I wanted. I genuinely enjoy oral sex, giving and receiving, and told him to come. I was quite pleased he let me finish — Tex never did. He was a jackass when it came to blow jobs. He’d stop me, ask me to go back, repeatedly. He was afraid of finishing too soon. He was 30! At that age he can get hard again very quickly! Gawd.

I digress. I know I’m good at blow jobs, because I’ve been told so, repeatedly. I mean, yeah, guys could be lying, but I don’t tell every guy who eats me out that he’s the best. I think I’ve said that once. And it was quite some time ago!

We fooled around some more, then I finally made it home about 2:45 a.m. (He did wait with me to make sure I got on the elevator ok. LOL) I was still drunk when I woke up about 8, then woke up for good about 10. If not for my period, I would have screwed him for sure, although I’m not sure if he would have had me in my condition!

VV might be a good plan B while I’m looking for my plan A. I like him, am very comfortable with him and enjoy his company … I just don’t think he’s long-term material right now.

Recycling …

Last week I kicked Tex to the curb. It had been a long time coming but still mildly traumatic. The relationship got way more serious than I ever expected and it made me sad to read the early blog posts about him. But, back on the horse, right?

Immediately — and I mean within 3 minutes — after I changed my relationship status on FB to “single,” thus broadcasting the sad little broken heart to all 150 of my FB friends, Viva Viagra e-mailed me to see what was up and offering to be a shoulder to cry on. He eventually claimed not to know that I was dating anyone, despite him having seen me with Tex. Whatev. VV, of course, was trying to get back in my panties, as he has been for quite some time. I was kind of flirty but let him know that even though I did the breaking up, I was still upset.

Well, Lauren came to visit this weekend and while we were a wee bit tipsy, I sent VV a text. Nothing much, just letting him know that I was, well, a wee bit tipsy and he was missing out.

Did that motherfucker reply? NO.

Finally, this morning, I sent him an email on FB, saying, “Way to ignore my drunkish text this weekend. Pfft!” He claimed not to get the text and seemed surprised I was drunk texting “already.” He also said he prefers drunk dialing. (Probably because he’s 40.) Then he asked how my feet were doing. (Since posting a photo of myself holding stilettos, VV has developed an unhealthy interest in my toes. … Wait, I think he already had one. But it’s still kinda weird.)

Nothing has worked out yet and my schedule is pretty full … but he is only a few flights of stairs down from me. Lauren is pissed that I’m even considering banging VV again and, yeah, he’s a little inconsistent with the Lil’ VV, but he always did make sure I was taken care of … and something mindless might be just the ticket to clear my head of Tex. And srsly? From the looks of the shit on Craig’s List these days, it’s not even worth my time to post an ad there …

A Sticky Situation

Yesterday evening I went in for my monthly Brazilian. Generally, it’s recommended that you take it easy for the first 24 hours post-wax, to avoid any irritation. I mean, it’s not too awesome having the hair ripped out of your hooha.

Well, Tex was home last night and of course I ended up over there. I told him that I was freshly waxed and I’d be coming over just to share his bed. 

Mmhmm.

Before I knew it, my pants and panties were off, I was on my back, and his face was between my thighs. He kept at it but I thought that something felt weird. After I came, he got up and said, “My face feels sticky.” I said, “Oh my God, the wax!”

He had wax on his nose and chin, and when he tried to wash his face, the water just beaded up. He ended up with bits of towel stuck to his face as well.

Being a trooper, Tex went right back to task, deciding to take one for the team. Afterwards, he went to the bathroom and yelled, “Babe, my nostrils are stuck shut!” 

After sending Lauren a quick text (news like this was too amazing to keep to myself LOL), I joined Tex in the shower, where I first de-waxed myself and then tried to get the wax off of his face, to no avail. He ended up having to scrub his face this morning and then got the rest of it off when he shaved. 

Yeah, sometimes warnings are there for a reason. :p

Want a Response? Don’t Do This

It’s been over two months since I last got laid — and I’m trying my damnedest to change that. I posted an ad on Craigslist this weekend and have, of course, been inundated with responses. I’d say I reply about 20% of the time.

This guy went right in the trash.

I love thicker women to an extent. What size are you?

He’s probably one of those guys with a small dick whose pictures you look at and say WTF right does he have to judge anyone. Ass.

On a random note, I heard from Health Nut yesterday — for the first time in more than a month. Time will tell if I let him back into my bed. Of course he has a great dick and has given me the best sex ever — so chances are if the opportunity presents itself, I’ll cave.

HNT: Lauren’s Back

I finally made it back from vacation. As much as I love my family, I was ready to get home. I didn’t hear from Health Nut the entire time I was gone… as a matter of fact, I haven’t heard from him since I got back either. Oh well. You win some, you lose some. I’m sure with a little searching, I can find someone who’s even a better fuck.

For your sake, I hope I find him soon. I need some blog-worthy material, dammit!

Now for this week’s picture. You’ve seen my ink, so here’s a better look at the only piercing I have which isn’t in my ear. I had my belly button pierced about five years ago and I absolutely love it. There’s just something sexy about that little silver ring. I’ve tried out other navel jewelry, but I keep going back to this.

For all of the HNT fun, just head on over to Osbasso’s.

HNT: Back in Black

Lauren got back late from vacation so I’m filling her spot on HNT today. I’m wearing my new black bra today so I thought I’d share that with y’all. 

Head over to Osbasso’s for all the HNT fun …

Have a Bite of the Apple, Eve

It may surprise you to learn that Audrina goes to church. A lot of people who know me in real life are surprised. Whatever, I am complex. 

I started going to a new church, close to my apartment, a while ago. I went once, didn’t go for a few weeks, then went back the week before Christmas. Before that service, a pretty cute guy sat down at the table next to me and started a conversation. I missed a week, because I was out of town with the family, and today that same guy was a greeter and looked quite happy to see me. Services start at 10:30 and there’s usually about 20-30 minutes of music/singing. Partway through that portion of the service, I heard a man ask if he could share my table, and it was him. 

Now, mind you, I am still seeing Tex. It has been more than 3 months that we’ve been dating. However, I haven’t seen him since I left his apartment on the 23rd, because he’s been out of town with his family and he isn’t planning to be back in town until sometime next weekend, maybe. UGH. So, while I’m sitting in church, I’m thinking, hmmm, I bet this guy doesn’t smoke pot all day or drink a 6-pack like it’s water. (I’m sure he has his own faults, whatever.) Then I felt like a bitch because I would be PISSED if I found out Tex was thinking about some other chick like that. This guy was in kind of a hurry after the service ended so we didn’t chat long.

Last night, I was on my way out for a massage when I saw Viva Viagra’s car. I literally RAN across the street to get in my car but I heard him speed up … and he blocked my car with his, listening to some lame-ass 80s rap song. UGH. He all but propositioned me, inviting me over for “the rest of the massage” that evening. *shudder* I saw him again when I came home from church. If his apartment wasn’t at the back of the building, I’d swear that he was watching for me. 

I wish Tex would get his ass home soon. This shit is wearing thin.

Merry Christmas from the Girls

Merry Christmas from Lauren and Audrina! Hope you have a fabulous holiday.

This photo is of me … I recently lost 75 lbs., so please be kind. HNT will return in 2 weeks; it’s been temporarily suspended for the holidays …

HNT: Lauren’s on Vacation

I’m going to be gone for the next few weeks visiting family for Christmas. Audrina will be taking care of the HNTs in my absence. Unfortunately I think things are done with Health Nut. He’s just not reliable enough. Here’s hoping the new year brings many new lays.

For all the HNT fun, just head over to Osbasso’s.

I’ll see you guys next year!

HNT: Lauren’s Ink

You got a peek at them in an HNT I did a few weeks ago, so this week I thought I would give you a better view at the ink on my back. These are the only tattoos I have, and I think I’m satisfied with two. I do need to get the bottom one re-inked.

For more HNT fun, just head on over to Osbasso’s.